Scary stories from a lovely place

A bloody good show?

Yesterday afternoon I had, what is known in the scary world of pregnancy, a bloody show. This is and isn’t what it sounds like. It’s not watching a Quentin Tarantino movie or a bull fight in Spain. That would be cool, and would indeed be a bloody show. Rather it’s when you’re very pregnant and go to the bathroom and when you flush the toilet notice some blood mixed in with the paper and water. (No more graphic detail I promise.)

Blood is the pregnant woman’s nemesis. During the first 3 intangible months of pregnancy any sign of blood is cause for major concern, even though when you take these symptomns to a doctor they tell you there’s nothing they can do to help. Blood is serious throughout, except for right now it would seem.

Upon my bloody show I freaked out a little, hastily packed my bag (Seinfeld dvd’s included) and waited for any signs that the show was going to develop into something really exciting, like a miniseries perhaps. When it didn’t and Stephen came home to absorb my freaking out we phoned the midwife who was as nonchalant as ever. So it turns out the bloody show is a bit of a non-event.

Last weekend we were visiting this same nonchalant midwife who explained the signs of labour. She talked for a while about seeing different shows and how they would vary and what they would mean. I knew Stephen had no idea what she was talking about. It was quite enjoyable watching his bemused face as he imagined watching movies, plays and musicals, but then began to put the true meaning together in his head. On the way home we had a good laugh about how different shows; maybe Robin Hood or watching lots of episodes of The Office, could bring on labour.

Jokes aside, show or no show, it’s getting close and I don’t know anything. I’ve forgotten my lines for this particular show, or I never really knew them, it’s like they forgot to send me the script and now filiming is about to begin and I know I’m going to make a fool of myself. At least Stephen is relatively calm, but he only has a minor part, not a speaking role like me. Who has my script?


6 comments on “A bloody good show?

  1. Jenny
    May 19, 2010

    Labour is one of those shows that whilst you are the lead role, there’s not a lot you can do to prepare! It’s a show of improvisation! Just go with it, your body knows what to do even if you don’t!! Just try and do lots of breathing and relaxation through the pain – at least til the last bit then you just have to get through it!

    I can’t wait!! I hate that we are so far away though!

  2. Glenda
    May 19, 2010

    You’ll get through it! I have no knowledgable advice in this area but am praying for you 🙂

  3. jacqui
    May 19, 2010

    it was a show i thought i would enjoy but was a bit disappointed. Its more like joining in the amazing race!
    You do have the starring role but are also director and producer! Hope it happens quickly for you! and its a show that gets great reviews – sorry for the showbiz puns/illustrations couldnt help myself!

  4. Mim
    May 19, 2010

    I loved labour. It was an amazing experience, one that I had no idea what I was doing, and yet my body just did it with no prompting. All the best Kim, can’t wait to see your status update saying baby has arrived.

  5. Monique
    May 19, 2010

    hey kim, good luck with the lead role in your show. i am sure you if you cant remember your lines , i am sure you will do well and the words to your lines will come to you as you go. i too unfortunately dont have any advise for you in this area as i didnt get to go into labour with having to have an emergency C section. but i wish you well and let us know.

  6. Lorna
    May 19, 2010

    Exciting times!! Relax and breath through the contractions. Get Stephen to rub any particularly sore areas (e.g. back). Trust your body – it knows the script. Praying for a quick and easy delivery!

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This entry was posted on May 19, 2010 by in Baby, Home and tagged , , .
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