Scary stories from a lovely place
Late last night, or very early this morning I was wide awake. Before you blame Silas, don’t. He was sleeping peacefully, as was Stephen. My racing mind and disgruntled heart were keeping me from entering the same peaceful state. Lots of things had prompted my anti-reverie – namely church politics, but also mere frustrations of life. As such I wiled away the time perusing bigoted homeschooling blogs (seriously why do i do it to myself? It’s like a car crash), digesting Dickens’ Bleak House and looking at facebook.
I was struck afresh by how easy it is to waste time looking at other people’s lives, or the bits they choose to show on facebook. I am often amazed how easy it is to let 45 minutes disappear merely by looking at people’s photos from their latest beach holiday or reading inane status updates, all the while feeling a bit jealous and trying to dream up my own witty comment for the day. Many times I have considered ditching facebook but feel too bound to the (sort of) community there. While it is a good way to stay in contact with friends who live far away, it is also too easy to waste time and envy others’ cool lives. So I did the deed. I don’t know if it was the madness in my mind brought on by the lateness of the hour or the inspiration to a better life provided by Dickens’ Esther Summerson but I did it. I de-facebooked myself. It was surprisingly easy. Just a few clicks here and entering a password or two and I am free.
I’m really enjoying it this morning. When I am at home I probably check my email and facebook every couple of hours, depending on how bored or distracted I am. Lately I have taken to turning off the internet to save power which has helpfully dissuaded me from looking at it too often. This morning I nearly checked Stephen’s just to get my fix of people’s updates for the morning, but I resisted. That would be cheating.
It’s funny to realise how much of my thought patterns were dominated by facebook. This morning I’ve been up for about 4 hours and I’ve already mused about 4 different status updates for myself. “Kim wants to play the trumpet” while watching Les Miserables with Silas. “Kim is filing Stephen’s life away” while sorting out our papers from the last few months. “Kim is loving porridge this morning” while making breakfast. Don’t you wish I had posted those gems for your enjoyment?
The other funny thing about facebook self-delineation is the profile picture. It often amuses me the image people choose for themselves and what they are trying to say about their personality or life. I often wonder about my own motives too as I toss up between being ‘Sporty Kim’ or ‘Married Kim’ or ‘Mama Silas’ or ‘Just chilling Kim’ or ‘Pretty Kim’ or ‘Fun Kim’. Oh the choices.
My only genuine regret about divorcing Mark Zuckerberg is that I won’t be able to plug Kimlovesjozi when I post. So the pressure is on to make the blog popular without the help of shameless self promotion.
Tell your friends.