Scary stories from a lovely place

Stumped by kindness

This morning at playgroup I was talking to another mum about how she raised her kids to be so lovely. You know the type – they are sweet and clever and quiet and cuddly and cute. I hope my kids turn out like hers. I asked how she had done it, did she think it was personality or was it upbringing? I think she was a little embarrassed by my suggestion that she had raised perfect kids (but she really has) and so answered, as every good Christian should, that it was just God’s grace.

This conversation reminded me of something that I’ve been wondering about for years about how God’s provision differs, and differs so wildly, for his people. I responded to my perfect mother friend, ‘what about those parents whose kids are wild? Has God not shown them grace’? Thankfully we were interrupted by a child and the awkward direction I had sent the conversation was diffused. Phew.

When Stephen and I realised it was so easy for us to become pregnant, not once, but twice, I knew that we were blessed/lucky. We have seen close up the heartbreak that struggling to have kids brings, and were happy to be spared this. I had gotten into the habit of saying that God had been very kind to me – and I used this term to refer to God’s financial and practical provision in my life, as well as the gift of Stephen, a stable upbringing and myriad other opportunities I have had due to the chance of my birth. After I became a mother it seemed natural to use ‘God’s kindness’ as an expression of how I felt about his easy provision of kids.

But it started to grate on me. If God had indeed been so kind to me (as he had), why then wasn’t he kind to others? Why wasn’t he as kind to me as he was to those who couldn’t have kids, easily, or at all? Why isn’t he kind to my friends who don’t know both their parents and daily feel their absence? Why isn’t he kind to people I know who have to scrimp and save even for basic things like dinner, education and clothes? Why do I have a cupboard full of food, a husband at work and children asleep, when others have none of these things? Why does he show grace to some of us, and give good things in abundance, but not to others?

In short, I ‘know’ the answer. I know that God’s blessings come in different forms and that trying to understand his provision with my puny brain is nigh impossible. But, really, I don’t know the answer, which is why I don’t say the ‘God’s kindness’ thing anymore. I don’t understand it.

If anyone has any thoughts, bring it.


3 comments on “Stumped by kindness

  1. Yolanda
    May 22, 2012

    Same place I’m at – no use saying words that are going to met by mixed emotions depending on which “side” of God’s kindness that person finds themselves. If anyone replies with some heartfelt insights would appreciate knowing myself.

  2. lusanne jenkins
    May 27, 2012

    HI KIM….been there thought that, now I am an older mum of special needs twins, having been thru the fire several times….this is a testimony of using God”s word to transform our lives….hope u enjoy..

    God is my strength and stay…i did wonder all these same things as my children were unwell for months at a time and not the best behaved kids on the block!!

    when i had the energy… i was in Gods face, seeking.. asking,..praying.. reading researching how and what others had done, to be … I wanted more, i wanted the shalom peace!
    I found out that there r a few simple keys, i have found that have worked to transform our lives.

    God spoke when He created, so began to speak God’s word, into my life …..those things I needed, and into the lives of my children. Eg I spoke order where there was disorder, I declared there would b sleep where there was i saw results in lots of areas…. I decided to declare that ‘God was repositioning me for success!”‘

    I didnt know what this would really look like, and it kept my friends amused….but i needed God in every inch of my life……now my friends r using Gods word to call those things into being as if thtey were…….

    After speaking and declaring God’s word into our life and situations,for a few months..things r really happening….we r so thankful for Gods blessing and things r changing…we continually praise Him for His goodness towards us.

    there r so many great promises in His word to claim as our own and have Him transform our lives with them…amazing!!

    have fun, all the best

  3. Traci
    May 30, 2012

    I asked David and he pointed me to Romans 9 because Paul struggles with the same question in that chapter. I hope that it helps you to keep saying the ‘God’s kindness’ thing.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


This entry was posted on May 22, 2012 by in Being a christian and tagged , , , , .
%d bloggers like this: